It comes in waves

Mother has since passed away for 1 year 3 months. It has been less painful and I don't think of her everyday. But once in a while a memory will flash by. 

The other day I was driving my in laws to Teban Gardens to attend a wake. Suddenly on the Jurong Town Hall road I thought of mother. This is the route I often take when sending mother to the hospital for her checkup. She would sit quietly beside me because I would be in a grumpy mood. 

Yesterday I brought the boys to my brother's house. Each time I go there I am drawn to the room that was meant for my mother. Even though she has not stayed there before. I still found myself opening the door and felt closer to her.

Today I was eating a croissant at Delifrance for dinner. And I thought of a time during secondary school when I bought a croissant home and went to my room to eat. When I emerged from the room mother asked why didn't I show it to her. Delifrance was a very different thing during those times. We were a traditional family and so mother was curious. 

Everyone knows that someday their parents wil be gone. For me this fact never truly sinked in until my mother passed away. Tonight I really wanted to talk to her. 

Don't have regrets. Sometimes just let things go and be happy. I miss you, Ma.