14 June 2020
I, take you, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
Wedding vows need not be fancy. Wedding vows, did you truly think about the meaning when you said it? Did you truly understand what you are promising?
Wedding vows are effortless to uphold when you first get married and when you are in love. And that’s how you feel when you have to say them for the first time. Sure, of course, needless to say, obviously. But that’s not when the wedding vows are needed. It’s like something in the pocket, that you invoke when things are not good.
Marriage, I have learnt, takes effort to maintain. Love will not be there all the time. Care and concern, yes. Sometimes they get muddled up with love and you forget which is which. Arguments will come, it is even likely that you might fall out of love and hate each other’s guts. And that, is the time when the marriage vows should be invoked. That is the greatest purpose of marriage vows. For it is when it doesn’t come naturally, that you remember once a upon a time, that you made a vow, not a simple promise, but a vow, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish.
This is where I think the Christian faith has done a good job. There is pre-marriage counselling, there are guidance in the bible to cherish and respect your spouse. Now I’m not a Christian but it doesn’t stop me from recognising the good things of different religions. When you get married, you may not have been matured enough to appreciate what a marriage is all about. You need guidance. Whether it comes via religion, family, culture or any other means, if more people have such guidance, then there will be happier marriages, happier children, happier society.
Regardless of when you realise the true purpose of what you have subscribed to, it is never too late to start appreciating and executing your vows.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Christianity or not, the truthfulness of the statement cannot be denied. No grudges, no keeping of records. Everything takes two hands to clap. Just do what you think is right, and hopefully one day, the marriage vows will go back to an effortless state, until death do us part.
