I have kind children

I have kind children. 

16 April 2022

Throughout their growing years I’ve been teaching my children to be kind to others and kind to the environment. While sometimes they still frustrate me with turning on the tap at the max, pumping the detergent more than needed and preparing food just for themselves, they’ve actually manifested their kind nature in other ways. No one is perfect but I’m very happy to say that my boys are (mostly) growing up right. So I want to take this moment to recognise a few kindness acts that they’ve done this week. 

This week the badminton tournament started. Lucas was looking forward to it but on the first day of the tournament he was made a reserve. When my husband sent me a photo of Lucas when he came back, my heart broke upon seeing how dejected he looked. He was made the ‘banana manager’ instead. There were ten bananas left at the end of the day for him to bring back. Despite it not being the day he expected, he remembered to be kind and gave the extra bananas to the school guards. I’m so proud of you, Lucas! Learning to handle disappointment and not forgetting your values. You could have easily handled the day by throwing a tantrum but you didn’t. Well done!

This was not the only incident. One day he was late coming home and he told me that his friend had to buy lunch so he waited and held his bag for him. It was raining so he walked his friend to his block before coming home. Yesterday we went out for dinner with my in-laws. Lucas was very responsible end to end. He handled the set up of the wheelchair, pushed his grandfather around, kept the wheelchair and lifted it up to the car boot, which was mighty heavy for him. Pure filial piety, I’m so proud. 

Luis, as well, has always been a considerate boy. We gave him two options of having dinner earlier but without grandparents or having dinner later after his grandfather’s accupuncture. He chose the latter because we can “spend more time as a family”. He’s also the one who set an alarm in our home phone to call yeye daily. 

Yesterday, Joanna brought Luca to our house. Luca likes Pokémon so after dinner, Luis went to make Pokémon cards to play with him. On his own accord without being asked to. 

How can I not be proud of the kind of people not children are growing up to be? I’m so proud. And I need to remind myself how great they are. I need to be less uptight. The boys are alright. I should just enjoy spending time with them and see them mould into their own person. 

Don’t let PSLE rule your lives

Don’t let PSLE rule your lives

16 April 2022

Recently Lucas’ mid year exam stress is getting to me too and I’m constantly looking at how begins he is in his revision. His nonchalance did not make it easier. 

The other night I scolded him for not caring about his exam because it might affect his chances of getting into Sota. As usual I regretted being too harsh on him after that. I reflected, that I was playing and hardly studying for my Psle in the past too, so how can I have double standards and expect him to take it seriously?

Luckily for me he hasn’t fallen asleep so I went in and apologised for scolding him. I said I shouldn’t have expected him to feel the urgency of the exam and all I asked is for him to be responsible to follow the revision schedule. 

As a parent I find it hard to balance all the emotions and responsibilities for a child in this milestone year. Focusing on the studies while still keeping the big picture that this should not define the child is way easier said than done. I can only remind myself - Just keep focusing on the goodness that your child exhibits everyday. Those are the values that are forming who they are. Psle, they’ll try their best, and we as parents also just try our best. It will be memorable but it should not define the kind of person our child is going to be. 

Wedding vows

Wedding vows 

14 June 2020

I, take you, to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. 

Wedding vows need not be fancy. Wedding vows, did you truly think about the meaning when you said it? Did you truly understand what you are promising?

Wedding vows are effortless to uphold when you first get married and when you are in love. And that’s how you feel when you have to say them for the first time. Sure, of course, needless to say, obviously. But that’s not when the wedding vows are needed. It’s like something in the pocket, that you invoke when things are not good. 

Marriage, I have learnt, takes effort to maintain. Love will not be there all the time. Care and concern, yes. Sometimes they get muddled up with love and you forget which is which. Arguments will come, it is even likely that you might fall out of love and hate each other’s guts. And that, is the time when the marriage vows should be invoked. That is the greatest purpose of marriage vows. For it is when it doesn’t come naturally, that you remember once a upon a time, that you made a vow, not a simple promise, but a vow, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. 

This is where I think the Christian faith has done a good job. There is pre-marriage counselling, there are guidance in the bible to cherish and respect your spouse. Now I’m not a Christian but it doesn’t stop me from recognising the good things of different religions. When you get married, you may not have been matured enough to appreciate what a marriage is all about. You need guidance. Whether it comes via religion, family, culture or any other means, if more people have such guidance, then there will be happier marriages, happier children, happier society. 

Regardless of when you realise the true purpose of what you have subscribed to, it is never too late to start appreciating and executing your vows. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Christianity or not, the truthfulness of the statement cannot be denied. No grudges, no keeping of records. Everything takes two hands to clap. Just do what you think is right, and hopefully one day, the marriage vows will go back to an effortless state, until death do us part. 

Easy eggless alcohol-free Tiramisu

My mom's 79th birthday was approaching and we were going to celebrate it at my brother's house. And this time she requested a homemade instead of store-bought cake! What a surprise, considering my mum is the most fussy food critic I have ever met. She must have been impressed by my chocolate banana cake!

Anyhow I was lazy yet I didn't want to disappoint my mum, so I thought of Tiramisu. As usual The Baking Biatch came to my rescue (or rather I went to her blog for help). Her recipe is so simple and delicious. I made some tweaks cos' I really wanted an easy way out, also made a chocolate version for the kids. Both were good.

Edit 16 May 2020: 

We are 3/4 into SG circuit breaker because of Covid-19. I bought tiramisu ingredients because Luis brought up a couple of times that I said I would teach him how to make this dessert.

When reading this post I realised that this was the last birthday that we celebrated for my mother. I’m glad that I documented it. 

Anyway after reading all my sad posts about my mother I decided to clean up this page since the original instructions/ingredients were too much. 

 This was the tiramisu that I brought to my mother’s house to celebrate her birthday. Very ugly but I’m keeping the picture here for remembrance. 

 

Recipe adapted from: http://www.thebakingbiatch.com/2013/06/eggless-tiramisu.html

Makes 2 tabao kind of containers. Make sure to use the tall type because 3 layers reaches the brim. 

Otherwise just use any other containers. Just note that this recipe below uses about 48 fingers, which means about 24 fingers per container. There are three layers and because the container widens at the top, I used 6 fingers on the first layer and by the third layer I used 8 fingers. 

But it’s no problem if you use other containers. Before you start you just need to line your first base with fingers to count and gauge how many fingers you need and how many layers you can make. 

 

 

INGREDIENTS:

I made one coffee and one non-coffee container of tiramisu. Total two containers. 

Coffee: 

- 2 packets of Nescafé cuppucino, Make into 2.5 cups for one container worth of fingers. 

 

For non-coffee:  

- I used milo kosong and hot chocolate before. Whichever you like. Also 2.5 cups for the other container of fingers. 

 

Cream mixture:
- 500g mascarpone cheese

- 10 tablespoons whipping cream

- 4 tablespoons icing sugar (I used non- dairy cream which is already sweetened therefore 4 tablespoons of sugar is sufficient)

- 2 teaspoons of vanilla essence

 

Sponge base:
- 45 lady finger biscuits

This is from Cold Storage, there are 60 fingers inside so you will have excess. 

Others
- Roughly 3 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

 

HOW:

 

1) Make the coffee and milo, pour each into a plate that is big enough for dipping. Let them cool down. 

2) Whip the whipping cream until you get stiff peaks

3) Put the mascarpone cheese into a big bowl. Use a spatula and mash it to make it soft-ish. Add icing sugar and vanilla essence. Mix with spatula till well combined.

4) Add the whipped cream to the cheese mixture and mix well. 

Get all your ingredients together. Now you are ready to assemble. 

5) Dip a biscuit into the coffee and turn it around in the coffee once then remove swiftly to put into container. (It won’t be soft yet but resist the temptation to roll more times! I tried rolling 3 times and the end result is a soggy tiramisu cake.) Repeat till you complete one layer.

6) Spoon 2-2.5 tablespoonfuls of cream mixture on top of the first layer and spread evenly. Not too much else you don’t have enough cream mixture for the other layers. 

7) Sift cocoa powder on top of cream. 

8) Repeat 5-7 two more times. As the container widens towards the top:

First layer: 6 fingers, 2 heaped tbsp of cream

Second layer: 7 fingers, 2.5 heaped tbsp of cream

Third layer: 8 fingers, 3 heaped tbsp of cream

9) Chill in fridge for at least 6 hours, preferably overnight. 

Hi mummy, Luis broke his bone.

Hi mummy, Luis broke his bone. 

28 May 2019 Tuesday

On this day after completing a WSH course I received a call from my elder son that his brother broke his bone when he jumped down from the slide. I thought he was exaggerating but it was true, confirmed by my husband who was luckily at home during that time. 

Rushed down to Mount Alvernia Hospital while simultaneously checking the insurance coverage. Side note - the Singapore MRT System is understatedly fast and well connected, I travelled from Joo Koon and reached the hospital within an hour. 

In pain but still have not cried so far. I didn’t know then that his bone was totally broken. Very brave boy. 

Now you can gasp. Not only is the bone now bones, the lower part is also twisted which could not be seen here. 

The doctors did not suppress their reactions. He needed surgery asap. When the ortho doctor came and said that if he can’t reset it then he has to open him up, my poor boy finally burst out and cried. The doctor was reassuring then that nonetheless it’s a totally fixable situation. 

By then it was almost 10pm and partly because we gave Luis food, the surgery will take place next morning at 7.30am. Luis was in pain, he was given ibuprofen to lessen the pain. Finally fell asleep near 12am. He stayed on his back but with a few subconscious short cries when it was painful. He even opened his eyes once and gave me a smile before falling back to sleep. I’m so proud of my son, in good spirits despite the situation. 

Next morning Lucas called me before 7am from school and asked how is Luis. Sweet Lucas is worried about Luis. I woke Luis up so the brothers could talk on the phone. Shortly after the nurses came to move him. They wanted to move him into another bed but Luis protested loudly and insistently because of the pain. Again I’m happy that he could advocate for himself. I felt guilty that I didn’t stand up for him more, and then told myself that I shall not be a weak mother again. 

Finally we reached the operating theatre. Luis was abit scared, I tried to reassure him. I was fine all along but when he went under the gas mask and gradually slept due to the anaesthesia, my heart broke for him. Almost could not talk when it was time for me to leave. I guess my face said it all as the nurses and doctors kept reassuring me that they will take care of him. 

Surgery was successful, no opening up. 

Just out of surgery, little groggy. The little man had 3 wires inside him now. 

So the doctor now said that he hasn’t seen such a serious case in 3 years and it’s the first time he put 3 wires instead of 2. I’m glad he didn’t say these before the surgery. 

Lucas called again during recess to ask if he can visit Luis immediately after school. He was worried about his brother, just that he couldn’t recognise it. I told him that we will bring him during the afternoon. 

We stayed for two nights and Luis had visits from the family and the school principal. Fortunately for the Cartoon Network and the great food, he enjoyed his stay at the hospital. Even Lucas ate two meals there. Luis also asked a few times why he has so many presents. 

Brothers pretending they are on a spaceship. Watching Teen Titans Go on Cartoon Network.

Finally on the second day Luis was able to get off the drip and go for his X-ray before confirming he could go home. 

Walking to the imaging room for his X-ray. 

Bones in the right place now. Doctor said it could be better. But I’m already impressed that he moved them back in place without opening him up at all. 

Next day Luis prepared breakfast for me. 

With the juice and bread from the hospital. Lol...

Practicing writing with his left hand. 

I am grateful that all turned out well at the end of the day. It was a memorable experience that he now thinks back happily. The experience in the hospital was actually good! Total bill came up to under $15k, thank goodness I bought good insurance for both boys in 2016 following Lucas MRI incident. Luis went through the whole experience with courage and good spirits. For that I’m proud of him. Well done, Luis. 

It goes away but it’s always there

Funny how emotions work. 

I haven’t thought about my Ma for a long time. There I am, sitting on the bench in the gym, drying my feet after shower and staring blankly in front of me. Someone left a water bottle and lotion behind. The lotion tube looks familiar and then I remember. 

One time Ma and I were in a pharmacy. Why and which one I don’t remember. But a salesgirl targeted my Ma and sold her a moisturiser that can reduce black spots or make her skin better. I don’t even remember the details. But I remember that I thought Ma is already so old and why this matters. It’s a side of my Ma that I seldom see. My Ma thinking of herself and not her children. My Ma buying something for herself to make herself happy. 

And I wanted to cry at the memory because I miss her. And so I did. It’s been four years now, and I miss you, Ma. The other day I have forgotten how I used to greet you and I sounded it out but it felt unfamiliar. 

The sadness, the missing.  It goes away but it comes back and catches you off guard. 

Apple pie-like bread

Apple pie-like bread (vegan)
26 March 2019

I had difficulties naming this because it's neither apple pie nor bread pudding. I had too much bread left and I wanted to make bread pudding but I don't like the sogginess of it. So I created this. Smells and tastes like apple pie, bread was not soggy. You can tweak the sweetness with the amount of honey and raisins you add. I found mine a tad sweet so I have reduced the honey from 1.5 to 1 tablespoon below. 
Note though that there is nothing holding the shape so it will fall apart after you bake it. If you want it to be presentable, you can consider making it in a cupcake cases so you can eat directly out of it. Overall it's a will-make-it-again kind of recipe for me.


Makes 1 round 8-inch cake pan.

INGREDIENTS

For the base and filling

• About 6 slices of bread
• 2 apples (I used 1 apple and 1 pear, that's what I had)
• 1/3 cup raisins
• 1 tablespoon of honey
• 2 teaspoons of cinnamon
• 1 cup of soya milk
• 1/2 cup of water/soya milk (for adjustment to be added only at the end when all are mixed together, depending on whether you have enough excess liquid to wet the bottom layer of bread)

For the topping

• 1 cup of regular rolled oats
• 3 tablespoons of brown sugar
• 1/4 cup of olive oil
• 1/8 teaspoon of salt

METHOD

1. Cut off the sides of the bread.
2. Line the bottom of the cake pan, should use about 2-3 slices.
3. In a big bowl, mix the remainder of the bread and all the ingredients (EXCEPT the water) together.
4. If it looks too dry, add the amount of water/soya milk needed so that you have about 1/2 cup excess that can be used to soak the bottom layer of bread in the cake pan.
5. Pour all into the cake pan.
6. Mix the ingredients for the topping. Put on top.
7. Bake at 165 deg C for 50 min.